He created a machine that could cause items to grow in size. I just spend two hours talking a guy off a ledge, then found out he was a window washer. Carl Otis Winslow: [pulls up a chair] Sit down, Edward. And I'll be coming home tomorrow. I tried to help you! Steve Urkel: Well, if I did, nobody would ever let me in. You should've seen the look on his face when he saw five officers surrounded my car and said Surprise! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Yeah? Laura Lee Winslow: [comes in with Mother Winslow's dress from the dry cleaners] Ugh mom, this place is really getting gross. Harriette Winslow: And you think I'm FAT? Carl Otis Winslow: Oh, well how did that happen? 12. r/Unexpected. Carl Otis Winslow: I didn't bring my gun. Steve Urkel: Why, sure! Laura Lee Winslow: No! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I have been scared straight, I saw a guy who had a tattoo of a battleship. The '90s series "Family Matters" may have been about the Chicago-based Winslow family, but the show's breakout character was actually Winslow neighbor Steve Urkel. In fact, do you know what it is Harriet? And, my God, look what you've done to Waldo. Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, they applauded when we left. Ms. Steuben: Uh, excuse us just a minute. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [after Steve, Eddie & Waldo sang 'My Girl'] Don't we remind you of The Temptations? the signs as potential pick up lines from hamilton. When my dad said you fixed me up with Laura; why, I thought I'd wet my pants! Isn't that sad? Clarence: Dude, you a serious little nerd. [Steve is in the kitchen recovering from Laura and her sock stuffed b*obs. And we practiced for six minutes! Rachel Crawford: Harriette, we've got to talk. I'll teach you. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Only when we kiss, Laura Lee, only when we kiss [they passionately kiss]. [Waldo nods as Eddie goes to the next name]. Carl Otis Winslow: Tomorrow. Steve Urkel: Why, to make everyone think that the woman I love actually loves me back? Steve Urkel: [sobbing] No, it's Myra, her cold got worse. I got fifty bucks on the Knicks. What are you doing with these bells? Oh, gentle Romeo, if thou doth love, pronounce it faithfully. Weasel: Hey loosen up, Eduardo. I love this lady [Laura] and I can come over here anytime I want to and you can't stop me! Carl Otis Winslow: Yeah. Carl Otis Winslow: Richie, I get the money back if the helmet breaks. Carl Otis Winslow: Oh gee that'd scare me. Let's just hope we can rub off on him before he rubs off on 3J. Carl Otis Winslow: [Gasps] Why of all the low down Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Calm down, Carl. Carl Otis Winslow: That's wonderful, son. Stefan Urquelle. "Tomorrow Dad!". What's up? Harriette Winslow: You eat all that ice cream and you can kiss your diet goodbye. Self respect. The wind has chapped my lips. I'm in this class. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: That's one month longer than they taught it to me. He opted ofr early retirement. Robber: [threatens Steve] You! Steve Urkel: Laura, this is a a really special moment and well, I think we should celebrate it by getting married. Rachel Crawford: She keeled over leading a game of Simon says! 36 Steve Urkel ideas | steve urkel, humor, funny Steve Urkel 36 Pins 11y N Collection by Nadia Hussein Similar ideas popular now Humor Funny Funny Quotes Chemistry Humor Nerd Humor Funny Charts When You Cant Sleep Lol Bahaha Clean Humor I Love To Laugh True Stories How To Fall Asleep Funny Jokes All the TIME!!!! Laura: That you'll never go into outer space again, Steve Urkel: Only when we kiss, Laura Lee, only when we kiss [they passionately kiss]. Harriette: That won't get the stains out. Lady in Strip Club: Shut up and shake your booty! Steve Urkel: Oh, I see. Having run for nine seasons, Family Matters became the second longest-running non-animated U.S. sitcom with a predominantly African American cast, behind only The Jeffersons (11). I didn't expect you to be in there and I feel like such a worm. Trying to cover it up only make things worse. Nick Neidermeyer: Do I have to remind you who you're talking to? [cries]. Steven Quincy Urkel (generally known as Steve Urkel or just simply Urkel) is a fictional character on the ABC/CBS sitcom, Family Matters, who was portrayed by Jaleel White. I kept quiet last week and I haven't say anything tonight. It seems the guy that you purchased your stereo equipment from didn't want you to fill in any paper work. Willie Fuffner: I'm gonna trash Urkel's locker. The rest of the rules are covered in this contract. [skips away from Stefan and Myra towards the elevator. When's it going to end? Laura Lee Winslow: Yeah, that's right, how'd you know? Laura Lee Winslow: [Yelling at Judy who's trying to shove her plate in front of Eddie dishing food] Can you wait? Harriette: Well, tell him you don't remember him. Waldo, you may go now. Waldo Faldo: Why are ya gonna do that, Willie? [Steve thinks Rachel is in love with him, but she is really in love with another man named Steve]. Harriette Winslow: Laura, you've had your head in those books all morning, got a big test coming up? Urkel pronouns are the best. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I almost wore that same suit. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: These last 2 weeks have been wonderful for me. I'm cooking breakfast. Steve Urkel: Laura, suppose I arrange for you to meet Johnny Gill personally. Jaleel White had a very busy handful of years in the '90s. Carl Otis Winslow: [kisses the ice cream carton] Goodbye. Bazooms! The next minute rump roast! I'm getting dizzy. They help move along our sentences. Carl: [Urkel Voice] In the meantime, I have to break the news to Harriette. There's no justification for this behavior! Carl: What? Steve Urkel: Hi Laura, my little sweet potata! Carl Otis Winslow: [Laura comes home distraught] Laura, what happened? Laura Lee Winslow: No, I think we learned that Steve's experiments has gone too far. Steve Urkel: Boyd whipped Eddie. Clarence has under control. Should I be getting some Handi-Wipes? And you taught Cassie Lynn Nubbles, the posterchild for useless people, how to do things for herself. 11 days ago. Pick-up lines get a bad rap for being cheesy and cringe-worthy, but if you start your conversation with the right dose of interest and humor, you may end up scoring a date or a number. Carl Otis Winslow: I'll get that, you must be having a rough day. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: March 10, Went to the market. Alexandre Dumas was black. You're my friend. Every time I ask her about it, she just cries and takes another Rolaid. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Then, you'll need a wide-angle lense. Steve Urkel: [Talking to Eddie and his girlfriend] You heard her, you're all witnesses. This library card is proof that ONE person can make a difference. If you have something to say, just spit it out. Laura Lee Winslow: Yeah, but only for one month. Carl Otis Winslow: I understand that. [Notices Maxine & Laura left the living room] Well, I thought it was a good story. Steve Urkel: To keep the camera on him and forget all the other meatheads. Steve Urkel: Oh no! The Its PurpL logo features the young mug of White as Steve Urkel, with his signature Coke-bottle spectacles and high-top fade haircut that blends into a purple haze riding above the floating. It is not empty at all. I want more Punch! Well if he does it again, I'm gonna grab his bellows and make a wish. Urkelbot: [sneaks up behind the robber and surprises him] Freeze! Got anything in the fridge? Carl Otis Winslow: Don't get cute with me Harriet. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: [after pulling his underpants out of his jeans] Sir, would you do me the honor of autographing my boxer shorts? Steve Urkel: [panicked] um perhaps you mean "biosphere"? Laura Lee Winslow: No, it's a work of Harriette, get it, Art, Harriette? Harriette Winslow: I am not! Dec 25, 2011 - Explore Nadia Hussein's board "Steve Urkel", followed by 259 people on Pinterest. I never got an 'A' before. Steve Urkel: Well, the earth didn't exactly move for me either! We're starved. Rachel Crawford: Uh, Steve, would you mind coming over to the restaurant on Sunday at about 7:30? Harriette Winslow: [Takes an envelope from Carl] 'Lose Weight, Feel Great at Chicago's Premiere Health Spa, Hip Whippers'. Harriette, THERE IS A CAR IN THE LIVING ROOM! We'll start with a common Korean phrase. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [voiceover, as Johnny Danger] So there I was, staring death right in the face. Steve Urkel: Well, ya see, we had a little muffin mayhem. I'm jealous of Todd and you want me to help him. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Waldo heads into the kitchen as Steve emerges] You o.k., Eddo? I-I-I see. [Waldo and Maxine are dancing to R&B music and professing their love for each other. Let's call it recycling. A bee to a blossom. It's not funny, it's dangerous. Muskrat Time! Yesterday he said 'get lost, Fido Face!' Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Waldo! Rodney Beckett: I'm Rodney, but my friends call me Rod-meister. Her temperature shot up and she tossed more cookies than the Keebler elf. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: I prefer to call it sharing. Join. Steve Urkel: This page is in Korean. I'm in big trouble! Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: You paid him off. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I call Waldo Faldo up. I probably had the heater up on high and they wilted. Steve Urkel: To be quite honest, Fuffner; I'd written you off as being incorrigible. [stares at the racist cop] Black. Harriette: Don't even think like that. Carl: There is a guy on our couch who says I remember him, but I don't remember him. [He leaves the house]. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: That's big talk coming from a guy in Italy. [Comes in the lving room with Mother Winslow as Eddie is taking his frustrations out on his sack of dirty laundry because Carl has just taken Waldo to the Chicago Bulls game instead of him]. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [sympathetically] Eddie, Carl was just about your age when he lost his dad. Harriette Winslow: Yeah. Waldo: I said he Hey, you can't trick me! Halawna, Oneisha: [pop up in the car Clarence stole] Surprise! Carl Otis Winslow: How about if I convince Laura to go out on a date with you. Every year, my relatives send me money in hopes that I won't visit them! Steve Urkel: I know! We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: [told he can't go to the party] You mean I was nice for nothing? Steve Urkel: By any chance, is that something you enjoy? Carl Otis Winslow: Alright Harriette, you were a liiiiiiiittle abrasive tonight. We are properly trained. [sees the kids] Oh my Lord! Cassie Lynn: Well, we just got some really hot photos of you being romanced by the Prince of Passion here. Steve Urkel: You teach us more than just things out of a textbook. [Puts his jacket on and heads to the Door], Waldo Geraldo Faldo: I may get F's, but, by God, I earn them! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Well now that depends, how nice of a Christmas gift do you want. It was the most terrifying five minutes of my life, second only to watching Lord of the Dance! 4 Mar. His relationship with Eddie was usually better than with Carl and Laura. Harriette Winslow: Carl Otis Winslow, I'm ashamed of you. Steve Urkel: Well, Laura doesn't want a date with me. Stefan Urquelle: Steve, what's up with your cousin? From now on, no parties and no TV. Carl: 3, 2, 1 1, 2, 3 What the heck is bothering me? Steve Urkel: [Pointing to the floor] Him. I'm a person, and I have feelings, and I demand to be treated with respect and dignity! I didn't kiss you. Carl Otis Winslow: Well I talked to your boy Squeeze and he won't be bothering you for a long time. Laura: Well, Steve, I've been trying to convince Waldo that girls find him attractive. Harriette Winslow: Not as rough as Aunt Clotilda. Laura Lee Winslow: If you have to ask, pass. Carl Otis Winslow: You know son, if Screwing Up ever became an Olympic event. Why, you might as well drop a boulder on my foot, shove bamboo shoots under my fingernails, or scoop my eyeballs out with a melon baler. This is my mother. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [to Officer Wigglesworth as played by Carl] We're on the same side of the law. Or was it yellow? The valet gave me a tip. You think it's cool to come to a prty with a mini bar in your coat. I've got the STD, all I need is U." 3. Laura: Urkel, don't your parents feed you? Steve Urkel: [last lines of the series] Do I get a welcome home kiss? Maxine Johnson: Yeah and poor you, you gonna miss your prom. Steve Urkel: [Hanging on a ledge] I've fallen and I can't get up! My zipper." 5. College Problems Student Problems And it will also think of a range of mistakes, not just the standard fare of stats guys everywhere: the disastrous trade up. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Freddy Krueger! Carl Otis Winslow: [Takes the money from Eddie] I love you son. It's a "non-date". Laura: Well, that's because you have self-confidence. It was your free safety. Carl Otis Winslow: Like that. Why, a few sessions on the Muscle Master and you'll be drooling over my deltoids. Everywhere you look, TV, movies, magazines, all these 90 pound people, smiling, dancing where do they get the strength? Laura Lee Winslow: You couldn't check out a book? I'm Stefan sweet thing. [Pulls Steve to other side of room] Steven, last semester I specifically asked you what class you would not be taking this semster and you told me HOME EC! Carl Otis Winslow: [to the racist cop who pulled Eddie over] You know, I don't know how that badge stays up, because it's pinned to sludge. Carl: Uh, just bring us burgers and fries. Let's just get there! Steve Urkel: Yeah, but now I have an excuse. Steve Urkel: Don't feel bad. [plugs the cord into the socket]. The notion was apparently incongruous enough to ABC, the longtime home of the hit comedy ''Family Matters,'' which features the geeky Urkel character, that its executives . In fact, I'm grounded. And I know that baseball card meant a lot to you. Steve Urkel Had Some COLD lines for Laura and we all aint peep it Follow N Subscribe https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLt1bradMOW81OkAFlIZvfw/subscriberhttps. Whoa, I'm being pushed back in! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: From my stay away fund- every year all my relatives send me money and hope that I won't visit them. Laura Lee Winslow: [Laura grabs Steve and his clone on their ears] Okay, let's take a moment and figure out what we learned here. I don't know what to say. Steve Urkel: Well, look at his poor, pathetic face. Carl: I sure hope so because I'm wearing his underwear. Your baby shoes, your grandmother's denchers, fish jam; and I didn't get a thing for you. I only got the date wrong on one flyer. What is the value of X? Steven Quincy Urkel: Don't interrupt me! Harriette Winslow: Carl, calm down, it's not the school's fault. And there is nothing you can do to ever change my mind. [steps on the gas]. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'm not dreaming anymore. [picks up a single serving container of gross looking food in the cafeteria]. Carl, you given me a half-eaten box of candy. I can assure you that we Urkels are a fine, old family, with a proud name. OGD now knows the police aren't enemies]. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Laura, I kept this ring in hopes that one day you would accept it. Steve Urkel: [to Carl] They actually give this guy bullets? Robber: [holding up the convenience store where Carl, Steve, and Urkelbot are undercover, threatening Carl with a gun] You! He's usually knee deep in dead mosquitoes. But, like they say in the movie "Love Story" 'Love means never having to say I'm sorry Steve, but I'm takin' yo chick'. I promise, okay? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No thanks, Eddie. It better be a dead relative in your excuse. Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, I was steamed, I didn't want to do something I'll regret. So I walked in the library, sugar, I couldn't believe my eyes, there were THOUSANDS of books just sitting there waiting to be read. You're taking me out for dinner at Chez Josephine's. Besides it's just a joy ride what could go wrong? You dumped one of my relatives in a Hefty bag. What do you get when you multiply a negative by a negative? Wha? Eddie Winslow, front and center! But honey, let's put a positive spin on it. Eddie: I guess this means you're gonna ground us, huh? [Maxine laughs hysterically after she leaves the house]. Harriette Winslow: Is this your snowmobile? When is that party supposed to be. Now, what you do on your own time is your business. "I have a pen, you have a phone number. Steve is the perfect son. Rachel Crawford: The balcony scene is next. Quotes.net. Why she is woman, hear me roar. Ms. Steuben: All right, class. Laura Lee Winslow: Tonight is the charity bachelor auction. You made me so nervous that I had to go to the hospital to get the thimble taken off. Steve Urkel: Why, of course it can! Carl Otis Winslow: What did she have to say? So long! Carl Otis Winslow: Hey, I mean every word, sweetheart. Steve Urkel: I've got an Uncle Dirk Urkel who was blessed with a two-foot long nose hair. Calm down, easy. Alex Phillips: How 'bout you put your money where your mouth is. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: [talking to Eddie] Man, they didn't even know who we were. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Way to go Carl! Why are you guys dressed like that? You need to get out more. She's mine! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Chuck is twice the man Raoul is. Carl Otis Winslow: All right. Would you like that? Stefan Urkelle: I'll have to buy new parts for the chamber. This semester we're Steven, you'd better get going. This could be an emergency and I'm not even dressed yet! [after Carl comes out of the busted transformation chamber in an Urkel like fashion, due to Myra's tampering]. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Why are you upset, Waldo? I mean we've made contributions to this country for over 300 years, but you wouldn't know it looking at most history books, it's not fair. I feel stupid! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Next Saturday. It was right in your favorite spot. Rodney Beckett: [after seeing Eddie's music video] I can't believe it. What do you use to get weighed, a postage scale? Steve Urkel: Why, sure! I was kickin' butt. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [shocked] And he brought hooters! Waldo: Hey, you don't have to like my cookin', but, please, don't call me names! Well, why didn't you tell me? Laura Lee Winslow: Oh lord, you're gonna die. [Eddie comes crashing through the living room in the car], [Stefan did not take his "cool boost" for that week - he wants to turn back into Steve]. You're wrong, the maitre'd gave me a two for one coupon. You don't want to get fried. I had 8 shots of Espresso, a 6-pack of Jolt Cola, and a large bowl of Froot Loops with extra sugar. No. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: You all right, Mr.W, [he teaches Carl how to handshake in his neighborhood. 8. Originally slated to be a one-time-only character on the show, he broke out to be its most popular character and gradually became its protagonist. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: The refrigerator. [Urkel is playing Danny Boy on his Swiss Melody Chimes and Carl is furiously awaken by it. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Harriette, there is a child outside digging up your azaleas. Ha ha! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Stephan] Laura Winslow, you are the sun, the rain, and the wind that flowers my soul. Steve Urkel: I'll settle for a toenail clipping! I wish I'd never done it. Mango? I'm Stefan sweet thing. I never got less than than an A. Steve Urkel: So, I can't live with that! Not bells, Swiss Melody Chimes. I can't think of a single reason not to do this every week. During the class picture, you don't have to sit with the girls in the front row and hold up the class sign. Due to the Urkel character's off-putting characteristics and the way he would stir up events and underscore the plot or even move . I can see my dad! Let me tell you something though Weasel. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Don't you worry, I'll work on him. Not when it's swirling around a porcelain tank. Inside this scrawny chest, there beats a heart. Steve Urkel: And I'm Steve Urkel! Well let me tell you something sir, if that's the kind of boss you are. Pull your gun right now. [runs upstairs]. Steve Urkel: Actually, it was my dad who said that. Rachel Crawford: Sort of an Urkel Exchange Program? All the doo da day. Get down from there! Steve Urkel: Oh, pasha, you're making me blush again. He's usually knee deep in dead mosquitoes. then removes his hand]. If I remember correctly, the safest place to be during a nuclear explosion is in a reinforced basement. Then there's in the summer, when we use him as a human bug zapper. Steve Urkel: Hi everybody! Laura Lee Winslow: No, it's the whole school! Steve Urkel: You know, every time you laugh you burn off three and a half calories? I don't *ever* want to work for you again. Steve who? Poor Laura has worked so hard and now she has to drop out of the race. Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: The party doesn't start until 9 and my curfew's at 10. [crying], Maxine Johnson: [Maxine starts to laugh while talking to Steve] Ooh, hoo hoo. Cool. Colonel Dirk Urkel! He finished his Christmas shopping weeks ago and never asked me for a penny. Harriette Winslow: And I always mark the year, you gave it to me. Does that about cover it? "Tomorrow, Dad!" Clean up your room Edward. https://www.quotes.net/movies/family_matters_102099, https://www.quotes.net/movies/family_matters_quotes_102099. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: What're you so happy about? Lt. Murtaugh: They're sending in that Urkel kid. Harriette Winslow: Why? Steve Urkel: Oh, no I'm not. Carl enters her room with Eddie, who is struggling to stifle his laughter.]. That one friend who says going to gym will solve everything. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Dad, cash is so impersonal. Steve Urkel: [ice pack on his head from a hangover, Carl just told him a story from his drinking days] Eh he he, ow, eh he he ow, [snorts] WHOOAAOOH! He's a lawyer! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Oh, no buts! That's not enough time for Rambo to blow anything up. Steve Urkel: Uh-oh, Mr.Frostbite. Once, I found them in Milwaukee living under an assumed name! But, I'd be willing to pay you. Steve Urkel: Whoa. Upload. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: [reveals his empty jacket] He meant the booze that came out of my jacket. Carl: Rachel, you're putting entirely too much filling in those. The black kids won't talk to the white kids, people are calling each other names, taking sides! [He and his partner grabs Willie and Waldo]. Steve Urkel: Carl, I brought the notes to go over with Laura. Carl: I can't tell him I don't remember him! Then we par-tay, see no problem. You're acting like animals! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: I got one of those once, did you know the sidewalk isn't a passing lane? Carl: You know, the only thing worse than not catching any fish is hearing you sing about it. Laura: I couldn't have done this without you. Aunt Oona: The gas pipe broke when my living room flooded. [reading] "Mongu! This causes Steve, Waldo and Weasel to leave and Eddie laughs nervously]. Steve Urkel: Now that Waldo's out of the picture, does that make me your number one reject? Look, Steve. Having aired 215 episodes, Family Matters is ranked third, behind only Tyler Perry's House of Payne (254), and The Jeffersons (253). Carl Otis Winslow: After you left, I saw your boy Fresh Squeeze at the door. Bushwhacker Luke: Me mother was arrested by cops last night! I love my Army. So go ahead, FIRE ME! And I'm sorry. So they picked up all our stuff and moved us. Steve Urkel: Why, come back here, you little hussy! Steve Urkel: Oh, why not? [Eddie sits down and Carl grabs his hair]. Steve Urkel: [after discovering that the stereo in Eddie's car has had its serial number scratched off] Uh-uh.
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